Life goes on it gets so heavy
by supernaturalnurse
Summary: AU: Bobby has a one-night stand, which ends up with him taking in a bruised, beaten, and bloody 4-year-old. What happens when the now 19-year-old who was pushed into normalcy returns home? Rated based on language and retelling of child abuse.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, nor do I own any of the lyrics used in these chapters. The lyrics belong to Coldplay; I just use them for affect.

Also, this is my first Supernatural fanfic. I have never been much of a writer but, when something is stuck in your mind, sometimes you just have to put it out there. Please review, it is much appreciated.

Chapter 1:

_When she was just a girl, she expected the world, but it flew away from her reach, and the bullets catch in her teeth…_

Sitting in a nearly empty lecture theatre, a tall brunette sighed, she stretched a little before slipping her hand into her jacket pocket and pulling out the sleek cellphone held within it. She clicked the button on the side, checking the time and sighing a little louder when she saw it read 2:57. Her microbiology class wasn't over until 4 and she couldn't handle another hour of discussing the differences between prokaryotes and eukaryotes. "_One had a nucleus and one didn't-simple as that._" She thought to herself sliding her finger across the screen and unlocking her phone. She scrolled through her text messages while still glancing up at what the professor had written every few minutes in order to hastily type the notes on her MacBook. She had mostly routine texts, a couple from friends, wondering what she was doing, if she was going to psychology class tonight, and whether or not she was attending some campus party on Friday. She sighed once again, for the first time ever; she had a completely normal life. She could do what she wanted, with who she wanted, whenever she wanted and no one would question it. She figured that was what college was all about for pretty much everyone though, being able to escape whatever your parents were trying to push onto you. She tried to push herself out of the daze she was in and focus back on flagella, or whatever the hell her professor was talking about when she caught the glimpse of a rather attractive blond starring at her, she scrunched her eyebrows and rolled her eyes, looking in the other direction and pretended to be uninterested. Dean had always said that if you want a guy to chase you, make sure you look away and don't look back to check if they're following. Of course, after that Dean would tell her that she shouldn't be dating and that guys were just jerks, but that never stopped her. She made herself stop right there, she refused to think about Dean, because if she thought about Dean then she would think about Sam and then she would think about her dad and before you knew it she would be back in Sioux Falls. She wouldn't let that happen, so she turned back to her computer and quickly typed out the notes on the board, all while praying to herself that class would get out early.

She stepped out of the dingy building and felt the cold air hit her neck; she pulled her jacket collar closer to her and cursed herself for not wearing mitts that day. She started back towards the dorms but was caught off guard at the sound of her name, "Ally!" She turned around to see the mysterious blond jogging towards her. "_Worked like a charm, thanks Dean"_ she thought as a small smile formed across her face. "Hey" she said as the boy reached her. "Hey, I saw you back in micro, looked like you were checking me out" the boy said cockily. "Pfft." She retorted, rolling her eyes, and lightly slapping his shoulder. _"Muscular"_ she thought to herself, before replying to him with a classic "You wish". "Well that's what it looked like to me," the still unnamed blond said "I just call it like I see it". "Well then," she said pulling her jacket closer to her face once again, "I guess I should be going…duty calls". She turned to walk away, when he once again chased after her. "Wait!" he shouted, "You didn't even get my name yet!" She turned back, thinking about how much she just wanted to get back into her dorm and into her bed. "Walk with me" she said, with the smallest wink and her mouth once again forming a small smile. "_I'm good." _She thought to herself, as she waited for him to catch up. The mysterious blond introduced himself as Mike, Mike McCullough, as they walked back to dorms. He convinced her to give him her number, and insisted that they sit together in the next micro class. She told him that she would consider it, and said goodbye as she ducked into the dormitories. She shook her head as her phone vibrated in her pocket before she could even get up the first flight of stairs. "_Desperate, much?"_ she thought as she ascended the last few stairs reaching the third floor of the rooms. She stopped to check her mail at the boxes right beside the stairs, and then walked down the hall to her room, she pulled out her key and unlocked the door before stepping into room 307. She heard the door click behind her and kicked off her boots, revealing her fuzzy green and pink socks. And dumped her books and mail on her bed and pulled off her jacket, throwing it over the edge of the chair sitting in the corner of the room. She kicked off her jeans as she walked across the room to her closet and swung opened the door. She pulled off the simple waffle-weave purple shirt she was wearing and stood in front of the closet in just her bra, underwear and socks. She reached into the closet and pulled out her comfiest sweats and an oversized _Sioux Falls High Graduating Class of 2011_ long-sleeve tee. She pulled the shirt over her head, and slid on the sweats. She pulled her long, golden brown hair into a ponytail at the top of her head as she headed to the fridge. She grabbed a bottle of water and made her way back to the bed to skim through her mail; a bill, two letters from various organizations in the university, and lastly a letter that made her pause. She recognized the handwriting instantly, and smiled a little. The stamp in the corner reconfirmed her suspicions instantaneously. It was a picture of the town-hall in the city she had grown up in, the city she loved, the city that was home, and the city that she couldn't bring herself to return to. _Sioux Falls, South Dakota._

"YOU'RE SO FUCKING USELESS! A USELESS LITTLE BITCH! CAN'T YOU EVER DO ANYTHING RIGHT?" the words were loud, and stung almost as much as the slap across the face that followed. She looked up at the person in front of her, the words ringing in her mind and the handprint burning bright red on her cheek as tears fell hard and fast from her eyes. Piercing green eyes looked straight at her, disgust and hatred shining strong. She felt sick to her stomach, she wasn't sure if it was the words, the slap or the look of hate that was causing it. "SEE, LIKE I SAID ALLY, YOU'RE A LITTLE BITCH! CAN'T EVEN TAKE IT, YOU JUST SIT THERE AND CRY!" another strong slap caused her to fall from her kneeling position onto the side, that's when she felt it, the strong force of a boot against her side, she felt her ribs cracking within her and there was nothing she could do but sit there and cry. "WORHTLESS. LITTLE. BITCH!" the words wouldn't stop, over and over, and she wasn't sure if the person was still screaming them at her, or if her mind was just repeating them over and over in her head. She felt her body moving full force across the floor, and then she felt the most pain she had ever felt in her life, as her body collided with the cement wall. She heard the words one more time "CAN'T YOU EVER DO ANYTHING RIGHT?" before the world went black.

Ally woke up in a cold sweat as her alarm clock blared, she knew that meant it was 6:30 and time to get up. But she just sat there, still shaking, as the alarm went off over and over again. She knew it was just a dream, a dream she had almost every night since it happened, and although the frequency of the nightmares had decreased, their impact had not-she couldn't snap out of it. She was shaking, sweat pooling over her body, and yet not a single tear fell. She sat like that for almost half an hour, the shaking, sweating, and alarm continuing on, as Ally thought about how much she wished she would have fought back, done something, said something. But she didn't, she couldn't. She had only been four years old that night, which night was by far the worst, but it wasn't the first time, but it had been the last. That was the night that her childhood home burned down, her mother inside, while she was carried out, beaten, bruised and bleeding, by a firefighter dressed in yellow. That was also the night that she learned she had a father, a man who lived over 600 miles away in a small town called Sioux Falls. That night was over fifteen years ago and yet that night still lived with on with her. And although it had been the worst night of her life, the night that forced her into a doctor induced coma for a week, the night that had doctors saying she may never talk again, the night that she had wished that firefighter had left her to burn, it had also been the night that lead her to having a life of love, a life that, although a little different, had led her to become strong enough to deal with the constant nightmares from that night that haunted her.

This familiar realization allowed her to push herself out of bed, to shut off the alarm that was still going off, and to stop herself from shaking. It also allowed her to have the strength to pull open the bottom drawer of her desk and dig out the letter she had gotten two weeks ago. She ripped it open, faster than she imagined and allowed her mind to slow down enough to wear she was able to comprehend the words.

She zipped up her duffle bag and scanned the room. Everything was in place and she was pretty sure she had everything she needed. With that she grabbed her bag and slipped out the door, double checking it was locked, before walking down the hallway and down the stairs. As she made her way towards the bus station she pulled her phone out of her pocket. There was another message from Mike, the boy that had clearly developed quite the liking towards her, and she couldn't deny the fact that she wasn't exactly against the idea of it. Seeing that there was nothing else that needed her attention, she slipped the phone back into her pocket and continued on forward.

Reaching the bus station, and paying for a ticket, she walked outside to find the bus she needed, Number 8, apparently. She pushed her way passed a few other college aged kids, a couple old people and a few people with young children who she hoped would not be getting on the same bus as her. She couldn't handle a thousand mile bus ride with a bunch of screaming children, especially since she would not be letting herself sleep on the way down. Although it was unlikely that she would have another nightmare today, she didn't want to take the chance. She finally located the bus and stepped on, handing her ticket to the man at the front who scanned it and handed it back to her. She walked to the middle of the bus and pushed her duffle into the overhead racks before sitting down and making herself comfortable. She was glad she had remembered to bring a blanket, since the temperature had dropped yet again outside and it didn't seem like the bus was very well heated. She covered herself up and pulled out her phone, clicking in her headphone, she slipped them into her ears and clicked_ shuffle_. She smiled as the bus pulled out of the station and made note of the time. "_Only fifteen more hours to go"_ she thought, as Coldplay made its way into her ears_. _

_…Life goes on, it gets so heavy, the wheel breaks the butterfly, every tear a waterfall. In the night the stormy night she'll close her eyes, in the night the stormy night away she'd fly…_


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, nor do I own any of the lyrics used in these chapters. The lyrics belong to Coldplay; I just use them for affect.

Also, this is my first Supernatural fanfic. I have never been much of a writer but, when something is stuck in your mind, sometimes you just have to put it out there. Please review, it is much appreciated.

Chapter 2:

_Was a long and dark December, from the rooftops I remember, there was snow, white snow…_

Needless to say, fifteen hours was a long time. Even for someone who had travelled across the country countless times in her short 19 years. The brunette was tired, hungry, and could barely wait to take a shower. The bus ride had been long; the stops along the way were not nearly long enough for her to really catch a break. The December weather hadn't made the trip any easier; from Salt Lake to Sioux Falls they had encounter two snow storms and more than their fair share of ice. It had taken an additional 3 hours, putting the total time travelled just under 20. Ally was more than ready to get off the bus when it pulled into the station, it was dark, a little after 9pm local time, and the snow was falling. Collecting her belongings, Ally stepped off the bus and took a deep breath. Still smelled like home. It was as she was walking towards the main terminal that she finally had a realization-no one knew she was coming. Since leaving for college 16 months ago, on that warm August afternoon, she hadn't returned home. Sure, she had the occasional phone call, or email, and every once and a while her father, who insisted on being old-school, would send her a letter. But she had never come home, not at Thanksgiving, not last Christmas; she went to a friend's house in Florida over Spring Break and had opted for summer classes in order to have an excuse to spend the summer away. The longer she spent away from her home town, the more she pushed away the life she had. The life she had wanted, but that had been pushed away from her. She was forced into normalcy, forced off to college, sure she hadn't hated college, she always was sort of a nerd, but she had never expected to be forced to choose an out of state school, pack up and leave. Especially after the huge fuss that everyone made years before when Sam had left to go to Stanford. Her stomach dropped and the room started to spin around her, she wasn't sure if it was the fact that she had come to the realization that she wasn't sure if she was welcome at the one true home she knew, or the fact that she hadn't eaten anything but soda crackers for the last 8 hours. She sat down on the curb as she reached the front of the building. She contemplated her options, she could always just turn around, march back into the bus station and buy another ticket back to school, or she could suck it up and pretend that maybe her family would be happy that she had decided to come home for the first time in way to many months. She reached for her phone, illuminating the screen she saw that it was 9:26pm; she knew that there wouldn't be any more buses running until tomorrow, maybe later considering the weather. She looked around her, eyeing the Walmart down the street, she stood up. She had a plan, "borrow" a car, and start towards home. Whether or not she would actually stop when she got there hadn't been decided yet but the 30+ minute drive to her father's house would give her more than enough time for that. Reaching the parking lot she eyed the cars, spotting the perfect one she quickly picked the lock on the door, just like she had been taught by Dean before she was tall enough to reach the car's pedals. She tossed her bag in the back and made quick work of hot-wiring the car. "_Piece of cake"_ she thought to herself as the car started. She pulled out the parking lot and started off towards the edge of town.

As she drove along, Ally made two discoveries-One, the owner of the car she had "borrowed" had really bad taste in music and the fact that the car was at least 25 years older than she was made it blatantly obvious that her iPhone would not be being plugged in anytime soon, and two, the fact that she had been up for pretty much 24 hours straight made concentrating very difficult. She decided she had a few options, one-sleep in the car in some parking lot, and risk the chance of hypothermia, two-find a motel where no one she knows works at, which would be nearly impossible in this town, or three-suck it up, and go home. As she drove on, her eyes aching at the fact that her contacts hadn't been out in way too long, she figured she just needed to drive back to the salvage yard. She debating call first, sure it wouldn't be much notice, but 10 minutes was better than nothing right? Meh, she decided against it. Taking a sharp right down a dirt road, she unconsciously held her breath having no idea what might happen when she got to the end of the road. "_Who knows,"_ she thought, "_maybe if I'm lucky no one will be there". _It was definitely a possibility. She had spent more than a few nights alone at home back in the day while her father was out on hunts. She stopped herself, trying to remind herself of why she was coming home. It wasn't just because all the other kids were, nope, that couldn't be it considering she had stayed at school alone many times before. It wasn't just because she hadn't been home in 16 months-no, because up until a few days ago she wasn't planning on heading home until after graduation. The letter-the way that her father had so gently questioned how she was doing and reminded her that the door was always open, even if she thought it was slammed closed when she left all those months before, he had said the same things so many times before but this time it was different, it was kinder, softer and almost like he was begging her to return. She paused, letting out the breath that she hadn't realized she was holding. _"This will be a good thing_" she tried to tell herself as she reached the end of the road. She parked the car at the edge of the yard and pulled her duffle from the back seat. It was after ten now, but she knew that there was no way that the house would be asleep yet. She walked up silently, just as she had been trained to do so many years before. Entering the door she wasn't surprised to feel a riffle on her back, but she was sure that the person holding the riffle was surprised when she pulled it from their grip and had it turned on them within a few seconds. "What the hell?" The man she was now facing said. She wasn't sure if they were questioning the fact that she had swiped the riffle so flawless, or the fact that she was standing in front of them. "Hey" she replied meekly, trying to force a smile across her face but too nervous to fully let it come out. "Al?" the man said, as though he had just seen a ghost. She smiled nervously without saying anything. Before she knew it she was scooped up into a hug that she hadn't realized she had missed so much. Most girls would have cried, but Ally wasn't a crier. She instead took in a deep breath, gunpowder, leather and a hint of musk, filled her nasal passages. She smiled fully now-this was home.

_…If you love me, won't you let me know…_

A/N: Story will get into some more action in the next chapters, just needed to get a little background in first.


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